Change and boundaries

I haven’t written in a while, not because I haven’t had time…I could have written all those times I was watching past episodes of “Extreme Makeover Home Edition”!  I have just forgotten about the blog on some days and when I remembered, I was usually out of time, heading out the door to work, going to bed.  So my promise is to write in this blog at least every 2nd day!

Day 1 of Anusara Yoga Teacher Training was yesterday.  I wasn’t sure how my shoulder was going to do, but it held up pretty well, with some discomfort, but the fact that I was up in handstands at the end of the day was a good sign.  The training is pushing past some of my comfort zones.  We are doing quite a bit of partner work and as most of you know, as much as I like people, I really do like to keep to myself so as much as it makes me uncomfortable, it is good for me. We just mostly took notes today and did 2 20 minute yoga sessions and 1 30 minute yoga session.  The voices of fear, discomfort, unworthiness and you’re not as good as the others, all decided to visit me on the way home on the skytrain.  We got in an argument but in the end, I won though not by much.  My ego is not allowed back in the classroom today or any of the other days of the teacher training. Though I am really not sure if is stemmed from my ego…I went in knowing that the class was going to be made of of people that were already teaching.  I think I am one of very few that aren’t already teaching.  I still went in and at the end of the day was feeling a bit down because I wondered if I had taken on too much.  Am I far enough along in my practice to be here?   I understand that there will always be people around me that have been practicing longer, but am I being practical?  The answer is yes….this is the exact place that I need to be, surrounded by like-minded people with the same ultimate goal of furthering our practice and in that sharing our knowledge and love of yoga with others. On that note, I am going to have my breakfast and head out to class.  Before I go I will share the 10 things that I am grateful for today:1) My sister, who believes in me and my love of yoga 2) My new pink yoga top! ( I know that was materialistic, but it’s so cute! & pink & spring like!) 3) The fact that I am beginning to dislike coffee…it will make it so much easier to stop drinking it! 4) Chris Chavez and the fact that he pursued his love of yoga 5) John Friend, the man who created Anusara Yoga 6) The amazing other yogis in my class 7) dreams & goals coming to fruition. 8) Dennis Gamboa, the masseuse and energy worker who reinforced that I can do anything I set my mind to….my Mom has been telling me that for years! 9) SUNSHINE! 10) As a woman, being able to go out and learn new skills without prejudice and possible punishment.  I hope that all women will have this freedom some day. 5 things that I will be grateful for in 1 year from now: 1) The fact that I went back to the 2nd day of the yoga teacher training with an openess to learn and be taught.  2) That I do something to push past my comfort zone a little bit each day 3) That I am going to New York City for my birthday in 2.5 weeks! 4) That I am me 5) Yoga which has taught me more about myself and what I can do than any school or institution could have.

Namaste and Love

Seanna

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