When you should all over yourself, it just makes a mess

Do you say this to yourself?  I should have done this, or should have done that, and maybe if you had it would have been better, or perhaps not.  I had an awesome afternoon today. I spent some quality time with my spectacular sister Trish, who writes her own awesome blog, Eccentric Exploration, The rambly meanderings of a firegypsy in search of a light. We giggled over sugary coffee drinks and a pastry, and chatted about life, and stuff. During our afternoon, the subject of ‘should’ came if often.  I should have stayed this place longer…I should have sat here so I could run out and add more money to the meter so that we wouldn’t have a parking ticket….I should write my blog more often. And on and on.  The last should that I noted was said by me.  My sister and I were talking about blogs and I said ‘I should write in my blog more often.’ My sister then called me on that and, and (I am totally paraphrasing here), said that when you say things like that, it makes you feel bad when you don’t follow through.  It’s true! She is right. When you should all over yourself, it just makes a mess.  I do feel worse when I think I should have done this, or should have said that or should have gone here and I don’t do what I thought I should have.  Should is one of those funny words….it’s like this hopeful, yet reluctant word that feels like guarded optimism.  ‘She should have left our name with the man at the door’ or ‘I should be able to be there by then’. It insinuates action, but allows for the possibility that it might just not happen.  So, less shoulding and more doing. Tomorrow morning, instead of thinking ‘I should go out and go for a walk or go to yoga’,  go for a walk or to yoga or do something that you have been should-ing.  Doing is less messy…unless it’s mud wrestling.  That can be messy too, but at least you are doing.  Just look!  I stopped should-ing and started doing and with that, just wrote a blog post! Hooray!

Yours in doing-ness,

Seanna

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