What does it mean to write?

So what does it mean to write?  Are a writer if you have published a book or does that make you an author, or both? What if you write a column for a magazine or a newspaper? Or, like a huge population of the earth, a blog?  My Mom is a writer and has 2 books to her name and writes a column for a local magazine. My sister has a most amazing and insightful blog. My Grandpa Christy (my Mom’s Dad) was a writer for a newspaper and he also wrote poems to my Grandmother. My cousin Barb writes plays and on top of writing them, produces, directs and acts in said works of art.  I have a friend Jenn who writes a food blog and she also makes all of the food that she writes about. I am surrounded by creativity and people who write.  But what does it mean to write?

I believe, down deep inside, we are all creative in our own way, and we all have stories to tell, yet we get caught up in whether or not anyone will read what we write or what we create.  Some of the things we tell ourselves: ‘Who will want to read my story when there are so many other stories out there that are more compelling, more interesting, more exciting, more (insert word here) than my story’ or ‘what if they (the proverbial they) don’t like it and tell me so?’.  So what if no one reads what you wrote? Do you feel good writing about it? Then write it!

Growing up, we are fed information from parents, teachers, siblings, telling us what to do, sing, write, and we are graded and judged on said writing, singing, doing and if we don’t achieve the mark set by other people, we are told that we have failed. We are tested time and time again, and judged over and over, and that can seriously affect ones confidence in ever sharing again.  We don’t think we are good enough. And then, when we do achieve the mark set by those who have come before and who know better, we have to strive to achieve it over and over again. But what if what you are striving to achieve feels all wrong? What if English is just not your forte and numbers are? What if you are more left brained than right, introverted than extroverted, yin than yang? Everything that we learn as children and young adults is taught to better ourselves. Or so we are told.  I went through school at a time where teachers were there for tenure and it felt like the creativity was slowly being squeezed out of me. I despised school. There wasn’t anything good about it. For real. It was not an enjoyable time in my life and from that, I tried for such a long time, to make myself into someone I wasn’t just so that people would like me.  I was so uncomfortable with that person but I didn’t know who I really was. And so I relied on other peoples opinions to guide me without knowing that I was doing that. And it sucked. It has taken a really long time to really become me…..it’s still a work in progress and at times I can feel myself slip back into the role of the people pleaser, however, her appearances are fewer and far between. So why do I tell you this?  Because I want write, really write. For me. Because it’s cathartic and it feels oh so good! From a place that’s deep inside that I have hidden for so long because I was afraid that I will be laughed at, taunted, that what I am sharing isn’t good enough or ‘right’.  Fear is a powerful emotion. Man, can it ever be strong. But you see, the thing about fear, is that it can only dwell in darkness. Once the light starts to come it, that darkness dissipates and scatters and then only the light remains. That light, that shiny, beautiful glow, that’s your goodness, your true self. And when we are ready, when we can stand in that light, in our truth, well, that’s even more powerful that fear.

I recently started following The Daily Love on Facebook and I saw a post about a month long workshop in Bali for 2015 called ‘Writer’s Mastermind’.   I started reading about it and then watched the video.  And it scared and excited me all at once. I have a story to tell, and it wants to come out. So I’m going to apply and it freaks me out.  I will let you know how it goes.

My name is Seanna and I am a writer.

The light in me fully sees the light in you.

 

 

 

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